… ces you to be organized and helps lay out a formula for clarity. I like it because acronyms are easy to remember and I like how it forces you to make you point twice in one presentation. If you make your point twice it’s more likely that the listener will understand what you ” re trying to communicate. To avoid conflict, ask not just ‘What do they want? But why do they want it’s steven P.
Cohn. HARVEY MACKAY said to this point ‘No one is going to show you their hole card. You have to figure out what they really want.’ And with some sarcasm he said, ‘Since the real reason is never the real reason, you can eliminate the given reason.’ Finding what they want may be harder than you think! Fifth was emotional control. In negotiations I need to take my ego out of the negotiations. I need to stay calm and not react to any words or physical threats of intimidation.
The best way to keep your emotional distance is through a technique called pushing the pause button. Negotiating for Dummies Said ‘The first response in your head need not come out of your mouth. You have a pause button. When you push it, you realize that if you utter your first response, you won’t get the job done and you may alienate the other party.
(Remember, friends come and go; enemies accumulate) ‘ One piece of advice that was given is to push the pause button on every request for a concession. Treat every concession the same in having importance. If you don’t treat it as being significant you ” ll run the risk of being perceived as not have given anything! When dealing in situations that I have a strong emotional attachment to, it is this pause button that has been my savior in the past. Stopping to think with my mind not my heart or emotions has saved me from making a bad deal or adding to the list of enemies I have.
Steven P. Cohn President of The Negation Skills Company put had a different spin on this and it is ‘Only one person is allowed to get angry at a time’ and ‘Yelling is not negotiation; it’s confrontation!’ Leigh Steinberg broke down four basic negotiating styles. The Dictator, These are people who often get their way and feel they are superior and show intransigent behavior (I did have to look up the word intransigent meaning lack of ability to moderate or compromise). They are augmentative and try to pick apart every thing you say to devalue your position. They tend to deny you your opportunity to make your presentation. To disarm this type of person Stienberg suggest to stop and tell the other party that you will allow them every opportunity to speak when your finished and that you will not take their being silent for consent or agreement of your point…
The Screamer, This type of person thinks losing your temper is a technique of negotiating. They are trying to intimidate you into backing down. Steinberg suggests that Silence showing no response is the best way to deal with this type. He points out that if you stay calm, the other person will yell himself or herself out, the anger will be gone then you can start to negotiate again. Don’t be pulled into loosing your temper and giving them fuel for their fire. The Manipulator, They will tell you how much better off you ” ll be with their offer.
They are quick to point out the life style changes that you can have now that they are ‘giving’ you this money. They are always trying to stay away from the real issue and that is the value of the product or service your providing. To combat this type you need to stay on the topic of what value you deserve for what you ” re providing. Don’t let them discuss your personal situation. The Equivocator. I have to admit that when I negotiate with some one I tend to be this type.
I break down the proposal into smaller pieces and try to get the other part to agree to one piece at a time. I look for one concession from them on the big items and I’ll concede on the smaller ones. I have to always keep my eye on the big picture and make sure I understand how all the pieces are going to come together as a whole. To deal with this type you need to pin them down specifics of their proposal. Make concessions on the total package not the pieces individually.
Knowing these different styles and being able to recognize what the person using them is trying to accomplish, I feel helps me be able to keep my emotions under control and on top of what I’m trying to accomplish. Sixth is Win- Win Negotiating to enter a deal. The term ‘Win -Win’ is from the Book The Win-Win Negotiator by: Ross R. Reck and Brian G.
Long The basis of the book is negotiation is not a game trying to focus on a single objective. It is about getting effective long-term agreement that work and building relationships with the other party that last. Negotiating with integrity and not using tricks to get your way. PointSteinberg’s Twelve Rules in Negotiating 1. Align yourself with people who share your values. 1.
Learn all you can about the other party. 2. Convince the other party you have an option. 3. Set your limits before the negotiation begins (BATNA). 4.
Establish a climate of cooperation, not conflict. 5. In the face of intimidation, show no fear. 6. Learn to listen.
7. Be comfortable with silence. 8. Don’t play split the difference. 9. Emphasize your concessions; minimize the other party’s.
10. Never push a losing argument to the end. 11. Develop relationships, not conquest. In summary of how does this apply to me? It doesn’t matter who or what I’m negotiating. I need to listen and understand the other parties’ viewpoint and what their needs are.
Be prepared before I negotiate. I need to have a clear idea of what my goals are. I have thought that ‘In business you only get what you negotiate! Nothing of value is given to you. You need to earn it through hard work and honest business practices.’ The one thing I have always tried to do is to speak and negotiate from a position of knowledge and understanding of what it is I’m after. Know what you want and what you ” re willing to settle for before you negotiate with someone (BATNA). Know the personality of the person your negotiating with.
Ask questions about the person get as much information about how he negotiates before you enter the negotiations. Be prepared!’ Effective negotiation is not about conflict. It is not about deviance or dishonesty. It is not about posturing, or bullying, or threatening. Effective negotiation is about exhaustive preparation, utter clarity, heartfelt communication, and a sincere, demonstrated desire to fully understand not just your own needs, but the needs of the other party.’ Leigh Stienberg: Winning with Integrity. Bibliography Michael C.
Donaldson and Mimi Donaldson. Negotiating for Dummies IDG Books Worldwide 1996 Roger Fisher and William Ury. Getting to Yes ‘Negotiating Agreement without Giving In ” Houghton Mifflin 1981 William Ury. Getting Past No ‘Negotiating with Difficult People ” Bantam Books 1991 Desmond Morris. Body Talk ‘The Meaning of Human Gestures ” Crown Trade Paperbacks 1994 Digby Diehl. Leigh Steinberg Has A Game Plan Entrepreneurial Edge Volume 4 1998 Steven P.
Cohen The Negotiations Skills Company. www. negotiations kills. com Harvey Mackay Swim With the Sharks With out being Eaten AliveBallatine Books David Hoffman The Young Lawyer Copyright American Bar Association Stephen R. Marsh Breaking copy right 1998 Dealing With Difficult People and Difficult Situations Center for Management Research Inc. copyright 1998 Eric C.
Gould The Negotiation Resource Center Newsletter May 1998 Batna. Com copyright 1998 Susan H. Allen Nan Problem Solving Workshop Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution, George Mason University 1997.